One of my biggest pet peeves is when people talk over me and not directly to me. For those of you reading this blog who are unable to speak, you know exactly what I am talking about. I find that this happens to me the most when I go out to restaurants. It’s what I like to call the “Duzhee Effect” as in “duzhee” know what he would like to drink? Or “duzhee” know what he would like to order?  People assume that just because I have trouble communicating that I am slow or something.  This frustrates me to no end.  We have a neighbor who constantly talks over me.  She doesn’t mean to hurt me, she just doesn’t understand. She will direct questions to my parents while I am right there or she will talk very loudly or slowly to me thinking I don’t know what she is saying.  Fortunately, my parents always suggest that she speak directly to me because I understand exactly what she is saying and that I can reply directly to her using my device.

Losing my ability to speak later in life, really gave me a unique perspective on both sides of the coin. As a person with a voice, it was hard to imagine what life would be like not being able to express myself.  You really don’t know what you have until it’s gone.  I remember one time my parents asked me if I dreamed at night.  I told them that I have this dream about how I was before my aneurysm and then I wake up to the reality that I am not able to speak and that I am locked up in my body.  This is when I am really grateful that I have my DynaVox V  so I can let others know just what I am thinking and feeling.

 I can understand the frustration that many of the users of AAC have in everyday life. It’s no fun to be ignored or looked down on just because we can’t speak. Most people are shocked when they learn how intelligent we really are, when they discover that we really do understand and can communicate who we really are.

Another difficult time I have is when I am in a group.  It’s so hard to keep up with the conversation when I have to compose what I want to say.  I do have a button on my device which says, “Please be patient with me while I compose what I want to say.”  I use this button a lot and people who know me will wait to hear my input into the conversation.  But there are some who just can’t wait for me to respond and they go on with the conversation excluding my input.

Have you ever been involved in a conversation about a specific topic and you are responding to that topic when suddenly the topic changes and you are still replying to the original topic.  It gets very confusing and they often don’t realize that you are still on the first topic. I think anyone who uses an AAC device knows what I’m talking about.

I think a lot about the times when I was working as a licensed practical nurse and I myself would speak over my patients who had difficulty speaking.  I sincerely would like to apologize to all of them.  I now understand what they felt like when I did this. 

For those of you who work with or know someone who uses an AAC device, there is a solution to this common problem. Know that we do understand what you are saying to us.  Know that we want you speak to us directly and that we do want to reply to you directly.  Know that you will have to be patient with us and give us the opportunity to let you know who we really are and what we can really do.   You won’t be disappointed.